aimst3r

i'm a delusion angel.

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Intermission: summer by aimst3r, literature

Literature

Intermission: summer

One July, I came to know the straight of your nose like the eastern horizon, the feel of your skin like wet beach sand. I came to know what it is to run with you in a storm: lashes dripping over eyes in search of a roof or perhaps some holy ark. Last night, the late summer shower made me suspect pebbles against my window, and even in your absence, I thought perhaps it was you who had left the musk of wet pavement and the prick of newly shorn grass like a love letter at my doorstep. Curse our bygone shooting star, on which I wished for the recognition of a last kiss. If not for that, I would be at my curtains stil

you say, 'my god' by aimst3r, literature

Literature

you say, 'my god'

I like you best when you are breathless --I find you are most honest then. I think it has to do with lung capacity, and how you can't get enough air when you're gasping like that. Just as it takes more muscles to frown than to smile, maybe it takes more oxygen to tell a lie. So, I make a list of ways to keep you honest. I decide the best solution is to let you pick up smoking again. You don't suspect a thing. You've missed nicotine like a war veteran misses the certainty of death. After the first puff, you say, "My god, I've been having wet dreams about this." By the eighth drag, you are wheezing and telling me that some

all i want is to be whole by aimst3r, literature

Literature

all i want is to be whole

all right, so here is the truth. no. forget that. i am not sure where to look for that. all right, what i am sure of is that what i want from poetry is liberation and self-discovery and fulfillment but i'm not sure where to look for those either. if they are in me, then i am too afraid to dig beneath the liver, detach vertebra from vertebra, squeeze out my intestine (i have seen the insides of the thing before, and i can tell you it is hollow.) and if truth, et cetera is in the world, well then i am simply afraid. you want to know what else? i am afraid i don't have enough ambition for my own dreams. i am afraid all i want

my valentine's day card by aimst3r, literature

Literature

my valentine's day card

here is what a valentine's day card should not say: it should not say, "i am giving you a piece of my heart," because those are just pretty words and at the end of them, you would really be standing empty-handed, sans coeur. besides, what could you ever do with a piece of someone's heart but look? it would not make you tea or read aloud to you or keep you warm at night. still, i fear cards have nothing to offer but words. and since that is the case... here is what a valentine's day card should say: it should say, "i love that your eyelashes can almost touch your brows when you look up at me. i love spending an afternoon in bed with you and,

it, too, will be lost by aimst3r, literature

Literature

it, too, will be lost

tonight, you may try to drink it away. pretend the vodka burning down your throat will fill your heart rather than your belly. let the convenient boy you meet coming out of the bathroom kiss you. mistake the quickening of breath for a sign that you have been moved. still, in the morning, you will wake with nothing more than a splitting headache and the memory of his name stinking on your breath. even this, you will not be allowed to keep. if you don't believe me, exhale his name with the day's first cigarette, and soon enough, it too will be lost to you. remember that love cannot be found in the back corner of a college dorm

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peppermint by aimst3r, literature

Literature

peppermint

you say i taste like peppermint, and you hate peppermint. i say, but you like the taste of me anyway. and you say, yes, yes, i must. i dig into my pocket for another; the candy crinkles its way out of its plastic wrapper and clicks against my teeth. i laugh when you scrunch up your nose in distaste and i say, if you like me then prove it. so you kiss me, tongue in my mouth, breathing in deep.

so close by aimst3r, literature

Literature

so close

this is how things could be: you as my mattress, and i as your blanket. ours could be the lovers' way of sleeping. here are our bodies: so close that when you are gone, i can smell your hair on my skin. so close that i cannot tell if the pulsing i hear is from both of our hearts, out of sync, taking turns to contract and relax, or if it is only my own heart beating so fast. so close that i can hope for my cheekbone to join with your shoulder blade, so that when you leave you will have to carry me with you forever. but instead, all i have is a cold, empty bed; the memory of lips, the fine hair on the back of your neck, a

beneath the weeping willow by aimst3r, literature

Literature

beneath the weeping willow

beneath the weeping willow, the swishing branches became our castle walls, our bejeweled crowns, our trusty swords. i was the brave hero, and she the helpless beauty. when we were children, the world was our playground. my sister and i, we could make a game out of anything: a pile of sand, a broken fence. but the weeping willow, alone on our neighbor's lawn, was our favorite. what mystery did we see in the willow? i fear now i will never know. with the passing of years, perhaps some of the mystery was lost. if i returned now, would i still seek passage through that curtain of leaves? perhaps all i would see is a tree.

nothing by aimst3r, literature

window panes by aimst3r, literature

Literature

window panes

in the cold, your hot breath condensed on my skin and the window panes. the world outside of us seemed so foggy; a blur of color, a flash of light passing by. i felt-- the opposite of intact --you could leave fingerprints on me; make patterns with your nails, lips, tongue wipe it all away or simply exhale and erase the evidence. still, i begged for it. "what can i do?" you said, "breathe me in, now." and you tasted like your last cigarette and a little bit of regret.

i am the rainmaker by aimst3r, literature

Literature

i am the rainmaker

people are always asking me what it's like to be the rainmaker. i tell them it's like drinking salt water until i am filled to the brim with it, like a leaf weighed down by rainwater just before it tips. i tell them it's like crying, except the tears don't discriminate between eyelids and fingertips and the pores of my skin. i tell them it's like collecting my tears in bottles and jars and teacups so that i have enough to outlast the world. i tell them this and i hold my breath, waiting for them to wonder when i came to be here or how, or even just to ask about my favorite book or the color of my socks. but all t

a better view by aimst3r, literature

Literature

a better view

he peels back your shirt. "so i can get a better view of your heart," he says and touches you just below your collarbone. and when you kiss, you can feel his smile against your lips. he unzips your jeans and slides his hand inside. his fingers are a little cold and you shiver, but you're not sure if the two are related. "what're you trying to get a better view of now?" you say. you don't mean it to come out so harsh, but you can't bring yourself to tell him that maybe you're scared and maybe you wish it was enough that he has already seen your heart.

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Deviation Spotlight

Intermission: summer by aimst3r, literature

Literature

Intermission: summer

aimst3r

About aimst3r

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Artist

United States
Deviant for 16 years
likebeinginlove.blogspot.com/
She / Her

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My Bio

"I was never a man of great ambition...Words often failed me. While others prayed I only moved my lips."
--Nicole Krauss, The History of Love

Current Residence: new jersey.
Shell of choice: the sea kind.
Skin of choice: my own, when i can stand it.

Favourite Writers

marty mcconnell.

Tools of the Trade

love & lust & longing.

Other Interests

finding enough words for it all. tasting the rain. getting through a day without tripping.

Posts

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aimst3r

Jan 26, 2009

numero seis.

0 min read

hellooo. i haven't updated this journal thing for a while. so here's what i've been up to: i've been back at school for about a week...getting back into the groove of things, trying to stay ahead in my classes so i can get good grades! mostly i'm feeling quite busy and overwhelmed and uncreative, so there haven't been any new deviations - sorry : i have many things jumbled up in my head, though, so once i get those organized i will be putting some things down on paper. meanwhile, you guys can check out my new 'do! hehe. i was getting ready for a party the other day and couldn't figure out how to do my hair so...i cut it. i haven't had bangs

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aimst3r

Dec 19, 2008

jingle bells and all that.

0 min read

it's snowing it's snowing it's snowing and i'm going home for the holidays <3

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aimst3r

Dec 13, 2008

here.

0 min read

sorry i've not updated in over a month! i was always very bad at keeping these things up. anyway, my excuse is that i've been pretty busy with school. there were spring classes to sign up for, and i have finals coming up in a few days so i've been pretty occupied with biting my nails and cursing all things school-related. i was actually supposed to be studying when i wrote my last piece (heh) so...here it is! i guess what i've been working on lately is writing about things that really happen to me. that's also part of why i haven't written anything new -- i've been sitting around waiting for some big change to occur so i can put it to paper.